So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore