Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year

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(847): my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year http://tfl.nu/4eng

Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (2226)
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(347): View more from New York

Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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(347): Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck????? http://tfl.nu/jm2n

Replies (8) Good night (1150) Bad night (4831)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high

(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, I don't like babies at all

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(404): I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high (954): Yeah, I don't like babies at all http://tfl.nu/6jzu

Replies (11) Good night (3439) Bad night (900)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die

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(321): well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die http://tfl.nu/56i7

Replies (15) Good night (2659) Bad night (648)
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(727): View more from Florida

You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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(727): You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her. http://tfl.nu/lj37

Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (2695)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.

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(248): I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist. http://tfl.nu/83tl

Replies (7) Good night (2836) Bad night (740)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm wearing red that night.

(301): View more from Maryland

Noted, what shade?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore.

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(202): I'm wearing red that night. (301): Noted, what shade? (202): Whore. http://tfl.nu/7182

Replies (9) Good night (3948) Bad night (876)
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(303): View more from Colorado

theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away

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(303): theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away http://tfl.nu/plhs

Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (2232)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

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(630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x

Replies (11) Good night (692) Bad night (1674)
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(817): View more from Texas

I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

(682): View more from Texas

They're mostly guys

(817): View more from Texas

Early bird gets the worm.

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(817): I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single. (682): They're mostly guys (817): Early bird gets the worm. http://tfl.nu/9qay

Replies (7) Good night (2588) Bad night (681)
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(951): View more from California

I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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(951): I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card http://tfl.nu/akau

Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (425)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?

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(412): What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar? http://tfl.nu/zns5

Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (317)
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(214): View more from Texas

NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS

(630): View more from Illinois

Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.

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(214): NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS (630): Fine. Suck all the fun out of life. http://tfl.nu/x7gr

Replies (4) Good night (743) Bad night (360)
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(347): View more from New York

I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.

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(347): I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/ta70

Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (221)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.

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(847): Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis. http://tfl.nu/hmoc

Replies (1) Good night (175) Bad night (365)

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