Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you

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  (313): You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you http://tfl.nu/5wuc
  Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (1293)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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  (401): Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa http://tfl.nu/h6ux
  Replies (29) Good night (734) Bad night (1093)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (4666)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.

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  (314): used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever. http://tfl.nu/t3hd
  Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (3737)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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  (646): Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation. http://tfl.nu/0p0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (2989)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

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  (301): Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip. http://tfl.nu/7yby
  Replies (64) Good night (3145) Bad night (5367)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate

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  (217): Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking? (217): Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate http://tfl.nu/x0ta
  Replies (9) Good night (1668) Bad night (747)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.

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  (412): i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule. http://tfl.nu/st8v
  Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (800)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

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  (917): "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro http://tfl.nu/gyn9
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (2024)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (538) Bad night (4132)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.

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  (208): I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise. http://tfl.nu/iv1d
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.

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  (802): at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record. http://tfl.nu/do7t
  Replies (6) Good night (926) Bad night (482)
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  (845): View more from New York

  How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother

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  (845): How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother http://tfl.nu/c9gy
  Replies (13) Good night (574) Bad night (414)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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  (202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.

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  (303): The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain. http://tfl.nu/vbjk
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (411)

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