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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Bea Arthur died yesterday

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You shut your stupid mouth

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Betty White is next, I just know it.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Pants off. Spirits lifted.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks

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• (510): View more from California

  Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"

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