Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
