I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
