We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
