That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.