Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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