News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize