the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
