A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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