; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Mom said you looked used
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
