We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
