You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize