Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
