you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The Olympian is in my bed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
