Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
