I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
