Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
