More tranny stories later!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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