wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
