Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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