i just wanna soil my oats bro
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
