Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
