Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize