Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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