I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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