we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I smell stomach acid.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
