i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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