even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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