Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize