Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
