i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
