So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
