the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
