I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
