I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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