And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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