Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
