just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
