i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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