try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
