No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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