oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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