reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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