He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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