dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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