her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He literally asked permission to hit on me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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