Fuck appropriateness.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
