well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
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No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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