It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
