okay pat passed out under dana's car
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
