I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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