How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
