my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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