I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
