I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
