if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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