Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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